StaR BucKS
Saturday, May 19th, 2007STARBUCKS
I’m standing in line at the overpriced coffee shop from
Archive for May, 2007
I FaKeD It LaST NigHT
Saturday, May 19th, 2007Slammed Magazine Article (Naitonal Column).
I faked “it” last night. I think there is this misconception that only women know how to fake “it.” Well it’s not true; in fact men probably fake this most often. Chances are you waiter is faking it right now, and you didn’t even notice. “Women’s intuition? Let’s face it, it’s only described as ‘Women’s intuition’ if you catch a guy in a lie, and last night you didn’t catch me.” I’m talking about Wine knowledge. And more often than not, people fake what they know. We over-hear a little wine gossip; we tuck it away and regurgitate word for word what it is we think we know. I’ve done it, I do it, and I’ll keep doing it. Why, You ask? Because I’m lazy, just like most of you out there. “Learn regions, and vineyards, titles and names? That sounds like a lot of work. And quit frankly I go out to eat to relax, not to be reminded that I’m a blue color schmo like most of the world. However; I just got paid, I took a shower, and hey I even brushed me teeth. And now, I want to go out to a fancy dinner, with a girl who will most likely fake ‘it’ too. The problem is I don’t want to look like a schmuck when I get there. How do I order wine and not be treated like I just ordered “Schlitz?” I’ve got a few tips to help you through the wine ordering process. But before we get started let me say one thing. “I know nothing about ‘Wine.’” This article is about faking what you know, which is lucky for you, because I’ve been doing that for years. I have a black belt in BS. In fact I graduated from BU with a BA, in BS. Which has helped me double major in unemployment. (And that’s no BS). One of the first things I try to think of is what do I usually get when I dine out? Am I a meat guy, fish, chicken etc. knowing what you will most likely order is one way to plan ahead. Secondly, you need to remember that your date, might not order the same thing you might. So you should have an idea of a few different wines. (A few, lets not get crazy). Next you might consider the season. The season can play a major role when ordering wine. For instance, summer time tends invite white wines to the table. Meaning; whites are chilled, a hot night almost begs for a cold glass of white when dinning out. Take this into consideration when you are ordering. One other way of planning ahead may be to visit the given restaurant a day in advance, look the menu and wine list over. This allows you to feel more comfortable when ordering. You open the menu and recognize items; your ordering can be prompt, tactical and deliberate. Heck you might even fool the waiter. Remember when ordering a bottle of wine, it doesn’t have to be the oldest or most expensive, in the end it has to be the one that you both enjoy. Ask around; take note when you try something new. I tend to ask the bartender to tell me something new about the wine I am trying. And every time I try I new wine, I ask that same question. People tend to remember the things they like. I’ve compiled a small list of wines that I know I like. One red, one white, one blend, chances are where ever you go the restaurant will be carrying one of them. “’Faking it,’ it’s not just for women anymore.”
One Mike Stand
Saturday, May 19th, 2007One Mike Stand
The phone rings and a voice from the other end asks me if I could write a piece on movies where food is the theme. The direction and concept of the task seem to be unclear, “an article on ‘food movies’ and why people in the ‘industry’ love them?” “Food movies?” I think to myself. What classifies a movie as a “food movie?” The voice on the other end starts to pour fourth an amalgamation of movie titles, like: “The Joy Luck Club, and Babetts’ Feast.” I cringe at the idea. Estrogen and subtitles I think to myself. The voice continues: “Big night, and Soul Food, “Better, getting better,” I think to myself. Girl on Top “I’m in.” He continued to throw ideas at me, and some of the idea started to get me thinking about the truth in what he had said. Resturant people like watching shows, and movies about the cooking world. It somehow became cool to know about cooking. I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, when they find out I’m a chef. “You’re a chef? Oh my god you have to cook for me sometime.” Does that ever happen in any other profession? Like you’d ever into run into Mike Tyson and try that with him. “Oh my god you’re a boxer, you’ll have to punch me in the head sometime.” But it is true. people love cooking, and people love to act like they know something about cooking. They have to throw some little comment into the conversation to let you know they know something about the trade. “Yeah, made dinner for the wife and kids tonight. Spent most of my day blanching and shocking.” Yeah, I get it you cook. But what is it about watching the shows that makes us all feel apart of “it?” I still find myself watching shows and going, “huh, I didn’t know that.” And “I do that too sometimes.” There’s something about watching these movies and shows that makes us all feel part of a common knowledge. And just like anything in life some people know more than others. But the difference is that in cooking, there’s always a knowledge there that people have to instinctively know. Eating. You can’t avoid it.” It just kind of happens. And what is “It?” That thing that makes us think we can remodel our living into a 70’s lounge in an hour after watching trading spaces. The thing that makes us think we could kill Bobby Flay in a cooking contest (in Asia or the