BARtEnDer Who kNoWs YOu
NECN“Having a Bartender who knows you…”
It’s been my experience that knowing people in the restaurant business is more expensive for you than not. This holds true to bartenders in particular. I mean there is the obvious perks to the relationship. Fast service, free drinks and good conversation. However there is a down side to the relationship as well.
The biggest disadvantage is that you end up spending more money than you would have, by over tipping for all the free drinks. The other problem is that you end up drinking more than you intended. Which might not be a problem for most, however when I drive home I have to make my way right past the Brookline Police Station.
And after having a few drinks, driving home becomes a big game of red rover red rover. “Red Rover, Red Rover pull Mike Dunphy right over.”
And visiting a Bartender you know goes from being a quick drink before your table is ready, to a half hour debauchery of booze. Whether it’s wine, beer or booze, you end up getting to your table three sheets to the wind.
That’s right around the time the waitress comes over to take your drink order…”sweet.” You end up placing one hand over your eye so that you can see the wine list clearly… “I’ll have the red one.” “Oh there’s nothing like a romantic dinner, when you are trying to fight off the spins.”
And that’s just about the time where your “buddy the Bartender” sends one last round of drinks to you and your date. You clumsily raise your glass towards what you think is the direction of the bar, and nod thank you.
Not realizing you have just “toasted the ladies bathroom.”
“Having a bartender who knows you is like being in a bad relationship, you know that they are going to hurt you, yet you always go back to them. It’s not you it’s me. It’s what I’m going through right now, I can’t see straight and I’m nauseous. But it was nice running into your before I get pulled over for a DWI. I want to thank you for your involvement with that. It was nice to almost see you again. Be sure to keep your phone on, I’ll need to make bail.
You end up ordering the meal not because you think that it is going to taste good, but rather one that you think is going to absorb the most alcohol as possible.
‘I’ll have four bread puddings…”
And when you’re drinking you tend to say really intelligent things. You ask clever questions of the waitress….’Is this bread free? Well keep em’ coming I got a long ride ahead, places to go people to hit.”\ and it’s by this time that the alcohol has fully set in. and you are really starting to enjoy your double date, although in reality it’s just you and her. “But, damn! If this free bread isn’t delicious!”
The bill finally comes and you notice that every drink you had ordered and heck even a bunch you didn’t order are all “Compt.”
And it’s then and there you realize that “hey lets go to this restaurant, I know the Bartender” has now turned into hey, I’m going to get arrested tonight!”
And a simple dinner that would have cost you seventy dollars is now a hundred and forty dollars, with a “Hang Over!”
Which leads me to believe that I really have to rethink some of my friendships.